// Perfection Unplanned//

Things never work out exactly how we expect them to.  Sometimes they work out exactly the opposite in fact.  But no matter what wrongs have been done to us, no matter how much we mess up, and no matter how far from the planned path we skew, nothing should be regret.  It’s better to change a lost chance at something into an opportunity for something else, and grow from every experience.  So if you completely forget to apply for transfer to the university you need to get into, and as a result cant start the program you want to take for an additional year, make the best of it!  Study abroad, intern, take a quarter off and work like crazy to save up so that you don’t have to worry about money when you start school again.  Just don’t dwell on your mistake, take advantage of every opportunity it presents you with.  Otherwise your just a loser who fucked up.  I’d rather turn this next year into a much better path than I had originally planned.

// A Fontillian Couplet//

Maryam is so yummy!

My tummy feels so great!

Maryam is a bunny!

A bunny i just ate!

// fear//

what we’re scared of changes drastically throughout our lives.  when were young were scared of monsters, but as we get older those fears are replaced with fear of getting in trouble and such, then we have fears of murderers and psychopaths and what have you.  but one thing we are always scared of, one thing that never goes away, never changes, is the fear of loss. fear of losing our family…our friends…even ourselves.  fear of losing something valuable.  fear of losing, being defeated. do we hold onto this fear because it’s actually the hardest thing to endure, or because it’s the most frequent?  maybe a little bit of both…but when out fear of loss becomes to great…we also start to develop a fear of gain…because no gain goes without loss.  what do we do when we desperately want to gain something, but know that no matter what in the end it will be lost?  do we go for it…or let it pass by..?

// it’s about time’s ill timed//

it’s pretty shitty how you can want something so bad for so long but right when it’s the wrong time and you don’t want it anymore that’s when you get it.  i guess that’s just always how it goes…you never get what you want and what you need at the same time…because a life without lack has nothing to pursue i suppose.  

// last and unexpected endings//

you never know when your last anything is going to be.  the last time you see someone, the last time you’re holding someone.  the last time you kiss someone…you just don’t know.  if we knew when our lasts would be would we make the best out of them?  or…would things be the same?  is life supposed to be full of disappointing lasts?   if almost all firsts are disappointing why can’t lasts be memorable?  life is such a mystery…nothing goes as we think it’s going to.  nothing is ever how you envision or expect it.  does that make everything thats unexpectedly great more precious?  or…just everything that isn’t less so?   

// disrespect//

when people are disrespectful that pisses me off like nothing else.  you don’t have to talk to me, you don’t even have to look at me.  i don’t expect you to like me, i don’t expect you to understand me.  but you sure as hella better respect me cause otherwise we have a problem, a big one.  i don’t give a fuck where youre from or who you think you are nobody ever deserves to be disrespected, so when people do things that are disrespectful to me i go fucking crazy because in my opinion that shit is just never ok.  

// dreams//

my dreams are the living breathing embodiment of every part of me coming out threw my subconscious allowing me to access every single ounce of who i am and stopping me from denying those parts of me that i don’t want to accept as true.    

// suck it peter//

sex, ex, hex, flex, necks, specs, rex, pecks, checks, treks, decks, annex, complex, complicated, hated, overrated, created, dated, sedated, fated, waited, gated, mated, stated, awaited, belated, debated, deflated, related, restated, inflated, rater, translated, tradition, position, remission, admission, emission, rotation, deflation, evasion, persuasion, participation, graduation, argumentation, mediation, meditation, deliberation, hesitation.